After a conversation with some of the people I know I found that there is a wide misconception about anger management which is that you should control your anger all the time in order to be correctly managing your anger.
Suppressed anger is one of the main causes of depression and one of the most famous definitions of depression is “Anger turned inwards”
When someone becomes angry and keeps it inside him instead of releasing his anger he will surely end up depressed. Of course this doesn’t happen overnight but sooner or later his suppressed emotions will turn into bad feelings followed by depression.
If someone punched you in the face and then you took a deep breath, counted from 1 to 10 then went home you will find depression waiting for your at the door.
Contrary to common beliefs, anger management is not suppressing your anger but it’s rather controlling the flow of it and directing it to the right people instead of projecting it on others who have done nothing bad to you.
For example, if someone bothered you and then you became angry you might incorrectly do any of the following:
Directing your anger towards innocent people is wrong however directing it to the people who originally bothered you is a healthy action that must be done in order to prevent suppressed emotions from turning into depression.
When someone gives you a punch in your face, give him a punch too, then apply anger management to :
Lots of the people you see shouting all the time are actually angry at other things but they don’t know how to control their anger nor do they understand that directing it to the right place will make them become calmer. The man who always shouts at everyone has something that is bothering him in his life that he can’t deal with it (see To know my enemy for more information)
So should you forgive people instead of punching them? Yes but only if you can punch them. For example if the world’s wrestling champion bullied you and then you decided to control your anger you will be actually fooling yourself and surely you will get depressed.
Your subconscious mind will understand that you are deceiving it, the trust you have for yourself will decrease, you will lose self respect and your self esteem will be affected.
On the other hand if one of your friends annoyed you while you had the power to force him to apologize then forgiving him would then be an option.
Anger management means protecting innocent people and punching bad ones in the face. Once someone told me why you are shouting at me while you are teaching anger management, I told him, shouting at you now is anger management my friend.
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