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Why do women find unpredictable men more attractive than nice guys


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How our brains work

We do we find the people we don’t understand more attractive?
What’s the connection between unpredictability and attractiveness?
Why do nice guys lose all the time?

In order to know the answers for those questions you need to first know a bit more about the way the human brain works. Every second too many pieces of information compete together for our attention. Each moment we are bombarded with information that arrives to our brain through our many senses.

Imagine what would happen if our brains gave attention to every sound, every image and every object we came across. We would get overwhelmed very easily and our brains won’t be able to do their important functions.

That’s why the brain filters so many of the irrelevant information we come across and only keeps the ones that seem important.

Why unpredictable people are more attractive

As a part of the filtration process repetitive information is always discarded by the brain. On the other hand anything new, unexpected or not fully understood is given more attention.

When a nice guy gets into a relationship with a woman his behavior becomes very predictable. He will be pushy, needy, won’t give her enough space and will always be available. The exact kind of behavior that lets the woman’s brain consider that person unimportant.

Now compare this to a person who is emotionally unpredictable. A certain kind of behavior is expected from him but he always surprises people with his unexpected actions. As a result the brain finds that person much more interesting. (See also Why being mysterious works)

Nice guys, bad boys and variable rewards

I have said in many articles before that the brain easily gets addicted to anything that supplies it with an unexpected reward. Slot machines, games with unpredictable patterns (Candy crush) and Lottery tickets are all kinds of things that keep people hooked up as a result of providing unexpected rewards.

Because the behavior of a nice guy is very predictable that person usually fails to keep women attracted to him. Now compare that with someone who suddenly and unexpectedly becomes nice for few moments. (see How to be unpredictable)

That kind of unexpected rewards keeps women hooked up and lets them become addicted to that person. This works in a simple way, women think that they can get more of that pleasant reward out of that person but because that reward is totally random they get addicted to him.

 

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