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Why do ugly people like me


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Is there something wrong with me?

Few days ago a friend of mine was telling me that he is worried because lately he has only been attracting ugly people (according to his own opinion about them). My friend had a good point back then.

He said that people pursue the ones they believe they can get and since unattractive people were pursuing him then this might mean that they believe that he is quite attainable.

In other words, his point was, “Had i been good enough they would have never had hope to get me and so they would have never pursed me”

Let me complicate things further by telling you about a study that supports what my friend was saying. A study , which is pretty famous for an unknown reason, says that people pursue the ones who are as attractive as them.

So the study assumes that if i had average looks i will only pursue people who have average looks and so on. So it it really true that being pursued by unattractive people really means that you are unattractive? Lets find out! (see also Similarity and attraction)

Why do ugly people like me

Do you remember the last time you pursed someone who was really attractive or a person who is considered much more attractive than you? Do you remember what motivated you to do so?

Its because the person was nice enough to you in such a way that he gave you hope. So we don’t actually pursue people who look like us but we go for the ones who give us hope.

Because my friend was kind he treated all people in a good way and because the unattractive ones don’t usually get this good treatment they started believing that there might be hope in being with him. (see also How attractive people think)

For them my friend was a catch, he is good looking and in the same time not repelling them the way other mean guys do. If tomorrow you got the chance to become close friends with a famous celebrity and if she started calling you often to check on you then there is a big possibility that you will get attracted to her and you might even start pursuing her.

Does this mean that she is less attractive than you? No, it only means that she has given you some hope. And because we humans like to get attached to any future possibility that could change our lives we get attracted to those who provide us with hope.

Could it be a pool problem?

In the city we live in beauty is almost non existent. The good looking females are known by names, not because they are stunning, but because there are too few of them. My friend didn’t put this in mind when he was making his argument.

If you are already in a pool that has less desirable people according to your own point of view then most probably the ones you will attract will not appeal to you.

Finally, as for the study that says that people get attracted to those who look like them. Recalling the pictures of the famous celebrities you like will show you in seconds that this study is pure nonsense.

Yes in some cases some people try to be with those who share some common features with them due to self love but this doesn’t mean that a totally unattractive person can’t fall for an extremely attractive person. And in fact the later case is the one that happens most often.

So the final conclusion is, attracting unattractive people doesn’t mean that you are unattractive by all means, it just means that you were nice to them.

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