When you first fall in love with someone certain chemicals are released in your body that gives you the sensation of pleasure, joy and excitement. Later on these chemicals disappear and the feelings of love are felt through intimacy and closeness instead of butterflies in the stomach.
When a man meets another woman other than his wife and finds her attractive these chemicals are released once again whether he is a cheater or not. At this point cheaters go for the new relation while honest people avoid giving in to the feelings of attraction they felt.
When this happens to a cheater he never realizes that the attraction he feels towards that person results from the hormones that are released in his body but instead he thinks that he loves that new person more than his spouse.
Cheaters might say something like:
When we formulate these terms scientifically they become as follows:
Most of the cheaters who understand this concept stop cheating simply because they realize that they are just chasing chemicals and not real feelings. In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship i explained how both partners should understand the fact that chemicals won’t last forever and that intimacy must take over such feelings in order for the relationship to survive.
People who cheat chase a mirage then sooner or later will find that the chemicals they were after disappeared once again and this is where serial cheating comes from.
If you know a person who cheats on somebody then let him read this article. If you cheat then now you know that you are only going after chemicals and that you not in love with someone else.
Yes you can restore these chemicals to your existing relationship by doing things such as increasing the eye contact and experiencing exciting events together. For more information on this topic read my article how can i love my husband again.
Relationship dissatisfaction with of its all kinds can lead to cheating. If the person is unhappy in his relationship then he might cheat to satisfy the needs he can’t satisfy in his relationship or to even unconsciously take revenge against their spouse.
In another article called Reasons people cheat in relationships i said that lack of understanding of what a person really wants can actually lead to cheating. A person can get into a relationship with someone without understanding his needs only to discover that he wanted something else.
This is why early marriage can sometimes lead to cheating because in a such a case a person might get married before knowing about their true needs or before even developing some of those important needs.
Thanks to Hollywood many people now think that love is the soloution to all problems. When a person gets into a relationship with the goal of experiencing ultimate happiness then finds that nothing has changed then he might blame his partner instead of blaming his beliefs. See Why love is not like in the movies
Most people have very strong false beliefs about love that they defend them fiercely. As a person realizes that his relationship doesn’t match his beliefs about love he might actually cheat.
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