In my previous article the relationship between fear and anger I explained how fear can be the main reason behind anger in many cases.
That would explain why an angry driver might shout at someone who recklessly crosses the street or why might a boss shout at you if you didn’t complete your work but in some other situations people seem to be angry at a certain person or an object for a different reason.
Why would someone call someone else stupid in his absence? Isn’t that some kind of a stored anger that has another underlying reason other than fear? And why would someone put a status update on Facebook saying that facebook chat sucks?
In this article I will tell you why do people become angry and explain to you the reason behind it.
I am angry = something Prevented me from reaching my goals
We become angry when something affects our life in a way that we don’t like. Anger isn’t always expressed directly but it can be sensed in the words people use in their conversations.
The phrase “Facebook ads are stupid” actually means that Facebook ads annoyed me and prevented me from browsing facebook the way i wanted.
Pay attention for people who use words such as “sucks”, “stupid” or “dumb”, all of these words show that those people have some stored anger that they are trying to release.
Next time someone says that something is dumb or stupid make sure that it affected him badly in a way or another. In short, People become angry when things prevent them from reaching their goals.
One day I was launching an online event with the title How to make someone fall in love with you. As usual the comments were positive and the feedback was great but suddenly a person appeared out of nowhere and left this comment “Get a life” on the event’s wall.
For the first instance it might appear that this person was not interested in such events but on careful examination you will discover that anger was the main reason he wrote that comment and not lack of interest.
Most probably the guy was desperately waiting for some event that allows him to socialize or to meet new people but when he bumped into an online event that first gave him hope then took it back from him (after knowing that its an online event) he felt angry and then wrote the comment.
“Get a life” in this case meant “i am looking for something else and I first thought I would find it here but I didn’t that’s why I am really angry and you people pissed me off”
The next time someone uses such words when dealing with you confront him with the truth. Tell him that he is angry because you prevented him from reaching certain goals and that instead of blaming you he should have been strong enough to pursue his goals.
Usually when you confront angry people with the truth they become paralyzed because under normal circumstances they would have replied to such an attack with more anger but since the attack was on anger itself they find no other option other than staying silent and watching you in amazement.
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