Why a negative comment about your appearance or actions can change your mood?
Why do you sometimes feel bad few seconds after a certain event happens?
Why do certain problems bother you so much and give you a hard time when you try to forget about them?
We all have flaws and weaknesses and this allows certain comments and events to bother us. This is a fact that can’t be changed. But why do some people rise again after being knocked down and why do some people remain down for prolonged periods?
While you can’t become invulnerable to life problems and negative comments you can learn how to develop emotional resilience so that you don’t give the chance to problems to bother you for long periods of time.
If you want to become emotionally resilient then you should first answer this question: why do certain events and comments make you feel down?
The following are the reasons you feel bad after hearing a certain negative remark or after facing a certain problem
You are afraid:If for example you were not satisfied withyour weightand were doing a lot of effort to solve this problem then someone told you that you aren’t making any progress then most likely these questions will come to your mind: what if i am going in the wrong direction? what if the actions i am taking are the wrong ones? could i be wasting my time? Those questions will triggerfearwhich will contribute to your bad emotions
You are afraid that the situation repeats itself: If you were involved in a verbal fight then lost it then most probably you will feel bad afterwards. One of the main reasons for your bad feelings will be the fear of facing the same situation again and handling it in a poor way once more.
You don’t have a solution to the problem: If someone reminded you of a problem that you can’t solve then most probably you will feel really bad about it. After all if someone told you that your shirt looks awful because of the newly acquired stain then most probably you won’t feel that bad because you know how to solve this problem. But what if someone told you that you are a boring person? if you were not sure of your social skills then you might feel really bad about that simply because you don’t know how to solve the problem
Based on the previous facts we can conclude that in order to become emotionally resilient you need to:
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