How to attract someone’s attention


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The two stages of love

In most cases love doesn’t happen at the first sight but instead we gradually get attached to the ones who catch our attention. Love happens in two stages, in the beginning someone catches our attention and stands out from the crowd. If that person did the right things after catching our attention then most probably we will start to think about him even more.

As we keep thinking about that person more and more we start getting more attached to him until the emotions become so intense that it would be hard to get him out of our heads.

This is why attention grabbing is the first step that should be taken in order to attract someone to you. Without doing that first step all of your good traits and qualities might be overlooked.

How to attract someone’s attention

The most common mistake most people do when they try to catch someone’s attention is that they use a one-size-fits-all approach. The problem with so many self help websites is that they recommend specific methods to use to get the attention of men or women without understanding that each person has his own specific needs.

Based on our needs our radars start to look for certain kinds of people. If the radar found a person who broadcasts signals that show that he is capable of helping us with our own specific needs it gives us an alert.

In other words to grab someone’s attention you need to get inside his mind first and find out what exactly he is looking for. And by saying that i am not referring to superficial stuff such as looks or clothes but i am referring to the deep psychological needs each person has. (see also What is a love map)

Now if you used a certain strategy without studying your target well you might even turn them off. This is why some of the amazing methods you already know never worked. Simply because what’s amazing for a person might be considered a turn off for someone else.

Real life example

Jane and Susan were sitting together in a public place. Suddenly a good looking skinny man appeared in their sight. The man’s voice was low, he sounded anything but assertive and he didn’t seem so sure of himself.

Jane ,who had a strong need to feel safe and secure, yawned as the man walked in front of her, a sign that she didn’t find anything interesting about him. Susan on the other hand, who was raised by a controlling mother, always wanted to be with a weak man in order to be able to control him.

Susan found the man very interesting and said that to Jane who found it weird. It’s extremely important to know that neither Jane nor Susan understood the reasons behind their feelings.

Just as i said earlier the unmet needs and psychological goals are controlled by the subconscious mind and it’s very rare to find someone who understands how his subconscious mind works unless he went deep into psychology. (see Does love come from the heart or the brain)

So the takeaway is: do your research before you try to impress a person else you might mess up.

Do looks really matter? Can an unattractive person attract a very attractive one? Yes its quite possible and this is exactly what Jane’s Code is all about. A revolutionary book that explains how love can be manipulated no matter who you are or how you look like.

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