I am sure that you have went through at least one situation in your life where you have found yourself being excessively aggressive then felt guilty for it later.
I am also sure that you met some people who always seem to be aggressive whatever the situation is. So the questions is why are those people always aggressive and why do you sometimes become aggressive too?
The frustration aggression theory states that aggression is caused by frustration. When someone is prevented from reaching their important goal or satisfying one of their important needs they become frustrated. This frustration can then turn into aggression when the right trigger is present.
For example, if you failed in your final exam you will definitely become frustrated But What if someone you barley know told you “You are such a loser not to pass that exam”. In this case, your stored frustration will surely turn into aggression. Note that the frustration aggression theory does not provide explanation to all types of aggression but it rather focuses on the aggression that results from not being able to reach your goals.
Here is another example to make the theory clearer. Let’s suppose that you faced a certain problem in your work and as a result you got very frustrated. Now in such a case you might find yourself becoming more aggressive towards other drivers in the street while you are on your way home.
In such a case your suppressed frustration turned into aggression as soon as you got subjected to the stress of driving.
If you found someone acting in an aggressive manner then know that behind this aggression might be some kind of frustration. your goal should be allowing that person to release their feelings of frustration in a constructive way.
Confronting that person with the main causes of their aggression may sometimes be a good solution but it can also be dangerous with overly aggressive people. Your focus should be letting that person release their suppressed feelings without being aggressive.
You may have now concluded why some people who have type A personality become aggressive. They are aggressive because they are frustrated as they didn’t attain their goals yet.
Working for longer periods of time and working on holidays are clear signs of frustration that results from unmet goals. This is not a bad thing at all but on the contrary it’s a healthy way to release the frustration. It’s much better than becoming aggrieved and short tempered person.
If frustration was not properly vented it may turn into depression. Suppose that you wanted to become rich but you couldn’t find a job. If you didn’t find a way to let go of your frustration the suppressed emotions may turn into depression.
Also people who are not assertive always feel frustrated due to the daily violation of their rights they experience which may also result in depression. The bottom line is to find a way to get rid of your frustration so that it doesn’t turn it into depression.
Work hard, become assertive or have faith in God, It doesn’t matter how you do it, all what matters is to find a healthy way to release these suppressed emotions.
One of the main reasons people fail to recover from breakups are the feelings of frustration. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how limiting beliefs such as “I cant live without them” or “He was my soul mate” result in frustration after breakups and thus prevent you from recovering.
If you believed that the only way to feel good is to restore your relationship then you will end up frustrated. This frustration is then turned into depression and the person gets stuck in this stage. Learn how to deal with these limiting beliefs and you will break the whole cycle of false beliefs-frustration-depression.
If you want to reduce frustration in your life then follow those steps:
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