Why are some people aggressive?
If you dared a person for a fight in front of his close friends then it makes a lot of sense that he responds in an aggressive way but why would a person act in an aggressive way for no reason?
Why do some people treat others with aggression even though they did nothing to them?
Its so common that interactions happen between people who don’t know each other in public places. I was at a public place and i suddenly found a person who had that angry look on his face ordering people he don’t even know to move apart so that he can pass.
Why didn’t that guy ask them politely to move? After all they did nothing to him!
No they did!
or in other words, he believed that they did and that’s why he responded in an aggressive way.
Aggressive people psychology
When trying to understand a person’s behaviour you must put zero weight to reality and put all the weight in the world to the person’s reality.
In the previous situation no one really did any bad thing to that aggressive person but within his own reality he interpreted the actions of those people as if they were challenging his power by standing in his way. (see How perception affects the behaviour)
People who feel insecure interpret reality in a different way. They usually give meanings to each event in such a way that it matches their inner world. That guy was not self confident and as a result he interpreted the innocent actions of people as if they are attempts to prove that he is not worthy!
In the Solid Self confidence program i said that insecure people always believe that others are aware of their weak points. Its so common for a woman who don’t like the shape of her nose to believe that all the rejections she got in her life were caused by her ugly nose!
Aggression and defending the territory
The more insecure a person feels the more he will try to build walls around him to protect himself. If a man locks his door with 10 key locks then certainly he is feeling unsafe. If he brought personal guards then its very likely that he believes that he is in great danger.
The more unsafe a person feels the more will he try to protect himself. Now back to aggression, because the aggressive person feels insecure he adds an extra layer of protection by scaring away people just in case they have bad intentions! (see How insecure people behave)
Aggression is similar to showing off, while the first is an attempt to show power in an aggressive way the second is an attempt to show power in a more friendly way. Both show offs and aggressive people want to prove to others that they are powerful because they both feel insecure.
Take it as a general rule, the more weapons you bring to the battle the more afraid you are to lose. The more aggressive a person is the more insecure he feels.
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