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Dealing with frustration


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Frustration Definition

Suppose that you wanted to take a day off in order to join a camping trip with your friends but your boss refused and forced you to work on that day. In this situation, you will experience the feeling of frustration which is the feeling you get when something prevents you from reaching a goal that matters to you.

Frustration is the result of finding an obstacle that stops you from doing what you intended to do. You can also feel frustrated and stressed when you have loads of work to do given that you don’t have enough time to finish it.

For example Students who start studying few days before the exam always experience frustration and stress. Type A personalities are among the people who experience stress and frustration the most as a result of their busy life style.

Frustration and Depression

Short term bursts of frustration are unlikely to have a long term effect on you but if something blocked the path to your long term plans for a long period of time then you might get depressed.

In this case, the prolonged frustration may turn into depression. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how long term frustration can be One of the reasons that cause depression. When someone wants to achieve a certain goal but fails to do it for a long period of time they might end up depressed.

This is why dealing with frustration at early stages is crucial for it can turn into a worse kind of emotion later on if it was left untreated.

Frustration and Aggression

Aggression can be a result of frustration. If your boss forced you to work on your vacation you may find yourself dealing aggressively with your colleagues or you may act with aggression towards your kids on that day.

Because you can’t shout at your boss your aggression remains until you dump it somewhere else.(see Frustration and Aggression theory)

Never become angry at people who never annoyed you but instead learn how to channel your frustration properly by understanding the main reasons behind it (see to know my enemy). You don’t have to shout at your boss but you can learn how to be assertive so you won’t go home feeling frustrated.

Dealing with Frustration

The less flexible you are the more you will get frustrated. That’s why stubborn people are more subject to frustration than others.

It’s your inability to let go of things that increases your frustration. I am not asking you to let go of your goals but I am asking you to look for an alternative path if one path got blocked.

Instead of feeling frustrated try to look for another way to achieve your same goal. Be like water and take the shape of whatever container you find yourself in. Frustration is sometimes a consequence of thinking that there is only one possible way to do something and this is the complete opposite of flexibility.

Let’s put those steps into a practical plan:

  • 1) Identify the roadblocks: When you become aware of the roadblocks that are preventing you from reaching your important goals you will be more equipped to deal with frustration
  • 2) Know what really matters to you: Many people are not even aware of their goals and as a result they easily get frustrated. Knowing what really matters to you is an essential step for dealing with frustration
  • 3) Always have a backup plan: Having a backup plan can reduce the frustration you experience when your main plan doesn’t work
  • 4) Execute the backup plan Asap: As soon as a problem happens with the main plan execute the backup plan. This action will prevent you from remaining frustrated for long periods of time
  • 5) Develop more skills: Sometimes frustration happens as a result of the lack of some life skills. If you faced a problem but didn’t know what to do then you will easily get frustrated
  • 6) Don’t delay solutions: One of the major causes of frustration is delaying the solutions for important problems. Keeping yourself busy or trying to waste time can increase your frustration levels so much

Frustration and breakups

One of the main reasons people fail to recover from breakups are the feelings of frustration. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i described how can false beliefs such as “He is my soul mate” or “he is the one” result in frustration after a breakup and thus prevent the person from recovering.

In this case the person thinks that the only way to recover is to bring back their old lover and so they stay frustrated. This frustration is then turned into depression and the person gets stuck in this stage. Getting over such a problem is very simple, learn how to deal with these false beliefs and you will break the whole cycle of false beliefs/frustration/depression.

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